The way engineers think

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!

Doctor: I don't know but I've never seen such ineptitude!

Priest: Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him.

Priest: Hi George. Say George, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow aren't they?

George: Oh yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight while saving our club house last year. So we let them play here anytime free of charge!

(silence)

Priest: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.

Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them.

Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?

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Is Windows a Virus or a Bug?
(From: John Borchard (jb@dendritics.com))

Is Windows a Virus? No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:

1. They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.

2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they
do so - okay, Windows does that.

3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does
that too.

4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable
programs and systems. Sigh... Windows does that, too.

5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow
(see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. Yup, that's with Windows, too.

Until now it seems Windows is a virus... But there are fundamental
differences:

Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems,
their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become
more sophisticated as they mature.

So Windows is not a virus.

It's a bug.

Speed!

Our government had decided to reduce the highway speed to 80km/hr to avoid road accident. Because they believe speed is the main cause of accident. We cannot denied this fact. However, we all know the driving attitude is the main factor.

Do you ever saw a motocycler driving and sms? A car driver turning to left but look at the pretty girl at right hand side? Driving in zigzag?

Let us see whether the reduction of speed can help to reduce the accident or not.

At the same time, our biggest internet service provider also support the government policy and they reduce the download speed to about 180kbps instead giving download speed of 1Mbps as per contract.

They believe, by reducing the speed, the user will not download porn, visit illegal website, spending too much time on online game. By then, the criminal can be reduce.

I support that, but please refund all the money to user and we continue to use back our dial-up modem since it's almost same speed.

Comic stripe

I don't like politics things, but politics comic stripe make people laugh until cry.

Why?

We know what is wrong with the system, but we can't say it and no one on top want to listen it. The only action to make ourself feel better is to laugh at our stupidity and hope for better tomorrow.

I'm getting old!

Prove 1:

I forgot why I switch on my car's head light in the shinny afternoon and I left it on for 4 hours unitl my battery flat. Lucky got 2 young man help to push my car to start.

Prove 2:

I forgot my company never asking me to save money for them and I stupidly waste my time to jam on the road, pay extra tolls and extra parking fees just because I can buy something cheaper price for my company.

Prove 3:

I forgot how to prove that 1 + 1 = 2.

Prove 4:

I forgot today is a holiday and I still working.

Prove 5:

And I forgot my boss not working today.

Spyware? Adware? or rubbishware.

That day I was thinking to add some cute emoticon to my MSN, so I go internet and search for some free emoticon.

So I get a free one. When I try install, I start read the terms (most of user never read this :)). And I see this.



Ok, stupid spyware! Or maybe I'm stupid!

Just want to highlight here, never click "I agree" button if you not sure what is written in the terms. And for the programmer, if you want to make money for your program/works/etc. please inform the user clearly. Just say I need money, please donate to me. We will consider that. Don't put those stupid spyware at the back. You are suck! You are not qualify to call youself a programmer.

Answer for simple IQ test

If

1 = 5
2 = 25
3 = 125
4 = 625

Then 5 = ?

To solve this problem, just take out your calculator and press 5 ^ 5 = 3125! Damn I’m so cleaver :)

But if you understand the basic of mathematics. The answer is 1. Why?

Simple, if A = B, then B = A.

However, human like to make situation complicated. Why?

I don’t know, maybe 1 or more of the following reasons:

1. I’m too free so I want to make thing complicated.
2. I just want to show that I know (even it’s wrong).
3. I don’t know but I can’t let people know that, so I make thing complicate for other.
4. I’m your boss, can I?
5. It’s not so easy; sure there is something I don’t know.
6. Someone is hiding the truth from me!
7. Prove me if A = B, then B = A. Can’t? Then breakdown it and compare.

Ha ha, familiar? I don’t know.

Another IQ question

if

1 = 5
2 = 25
3 = 125
4 = 625

then 5 = ?

Are you a lawyer?

A rabbi, a hindu, and a lawyer are in a car. they run out of gas, and are
forced to stop at a farmers house. The farmer says that there are only 2
extra beds, and one person will have to sleep in the barn. The hindu says,
"I'm humble, I will sleep in the barn," so he goes out to the barn. In a few
minutes, the farmer hears a knock on the door. It's the hindu and he says,
"There is a cow in the barn. It's against my beliefs to sleep with a cow."
So the rabbi says, "I'm humble, I will sleep in the barn." A few minutes
later, the farmer hears another knock on the door and its' the rabbi. He says
that it is against his beliefs to sleep where there is a pig and there is a
pig in the barn. So the lawyer is forced to sleep in the barn.

A few minutes later, there is a knock on the door. It's the pig and the cow.

When engineer become accountant

The economy is not going well and an unemployed engineer desperately needing work is nervous about an upcoming accountant job interview. The interview goes well, but as the engineer stands up to leave the manager says, "Oh just one more question. How much is four times eight?" Puzzled, the engineer responds that in all calculations, even simple ones like that, he never relies on his memory. He always uses a calculator with a paper printout, and double-checks his answer. "Fine", says the manager, but I just want you to tell me the answer anyway from memory without using your calculator. "Sure," says the engineer. "Four times eight is, uh, thirty-four." After saying goodbye and leaving the building, the engineer hurriedly pushes up four times eight into his calculator and curses when he sees the answer.

Nonetheless, he gets the job. Six months later, when he's doing well and feels confident enough, he walks up to his boss and asks him. "Sir, I'm curious. Why is it that out of all those engineering candidates, you hired me, when I gave you the wrong answer to four-times-eight?" His boss looks up and says, "Your answer was the closest."

Evolution of programming language

I hope I can tell you about the evolution of programming langguate, but it's just too complicated.

How many programming language you know?
I think most of us know about C/C++, some maybe VB or VC.
And I'm a Delphi programmer.

Why?

Just because I like Turbo Pascal so much and Borland really did a greate job on its product. Although Borland had decided to sell off his programming language production line, but for me, I will still continue using it until this product obsolete. I hope the buyer of Delphi will continue the spirit of Delphi.

Programming language diagram
O'Reilly History of Programming Languages

Google Purchases YouTube!



The effect of evolution?

Streamyx 1Mbps line!!!!



I pay RM88 for 1Mbps and I get 183kbps! Can I pay RM16?
We all cheated legally!!!!

If you go pasar and buy 1kg sugar, people will give you 1kg of sugar. If you found out that they give you 0.9kg only, you can sue them for cheating you.

But we are robbed by our biggest internet service provider and we can say nothing.
WTF is our consumer rights?

Extreme Engineering from Discovery Channel


Tokyo's Sky City

Transatlantic Tunnel

City in a Pyramid

Bridging the Bering Strait

Tunneling Under the Alps

Building Hong Kong's Airport

Holland's Barriers to the Sea

Boston's Big Dig

Widening the Panama Canal

Subways in America

It's a dream or nightmare?

Dinstein birthday

Here is the answer.

1. SK: if I dont know then Wisely also don't know.

In the list, there are two date that the day is unique, which is 7-Jun and 2-Dec. If the D give to Wisely is 7 or 2, then the M give to SK must be 6 or 12. Since Wisely cannot tell the birthday, the D <> 7 and D <> 2 and M <> 6 and M <> 12.

From the fist conversation, we eliminate some date and remain these:

4-March, 5-March, 8-March, 1-Sept, 5-Sept

Wisely: Initially I don't know, but now I know the answer.

Base on this statement, then D <> 5, because if D = 5, Wisely dare not make the above statement.

Now we have these list:

4-March, 8-March, 1-Sept

SK: Then I also know the answer.

From SK statement, we know that M <> 3 because if M = 3 it can be 4-Mar or 8-Mar, thus we know that M = 9

The answer is 1-Sept.

Do you get it XD