Friday, April 25, 2008

Conan Movie 12 - 2008

Every year April I am waiting for the Conan movie. Hope can watch it soon.

Secret affair?

Recently, I hear some rumors flying around in my office. Not sure it's true or not until I saw these pictures.

I start to wonder why they are so close in the office.

Ok, this one start to answer my doubt.

A happy couple.

Ok, what is this guy try to do. Hey, everyone is watching la. Wait la until hotel!

Ok, I want to vomit already, urrrrrr..........

Sunday, April 20, 2008

The furthest distance


Learn how to say thank you

If someone had helped you either by your instruction or offer from him/her, please thank him/her sincerely from bottom of your heart no matter what the result is.

Please don’t fuck them, or humiliate them or give a black face look. Human feeling is weak, everyone deserve a respect. Either you fuck them or you thank them, it’s just a different word, why not use some word that make both party happy, especially someone that already try to help you? I still remember my teacher told me, word is like a sword, it can kill somebody (soul) in no time.

I’m very low EQ, although maybe my IQ is slightly higher, my feeling is as fragile as a mirror, once broken, it can’t back to the previous shape, so please remember don’t fuck me or give me black face. Thank you.

Friday, April 18, 2008

I'm a sohai

Today I sit in the new Altis. I'm confirmed, I'm a sohai.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Vista SP1

Finally, SP1 is released. I heard this SP improve (or just normalize) the Vista performance.

You may read the review here.

and download the SP1 file from Miscrosoft.

Warning: This file is 434M in size and required around 5-6G of hard disk space for installation.

Like most of the user, I owned a copy of Vista but I had surrender with this sohai OS. Hope this SP will really bring Vista back to normal.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

How to create an intelligent fuckup control system

Objective: To prevent bloodsucker client refuse to pay after project end.

Reason: Engineering seems to be "free" for most of the people, but time is not free. Time is money. Whether the hardware cost is cheap or expensive, we still need to feed the engineer with rice.

Initial step, once after successful of commissioning the control system, a "Welcome" screen will be showed at the SCADA just like when you install the Windows. The user needs to agree to the terms and conditions before they can start to use the control system. Therefore, remember to include a term say that if the client refuse to pay after a certain period, the system will refuse to work or go crazy :)

Once the agreement has been digitally agreed, an initial bit will be sent to PLC to activates the hidden sequence.

Before I proceed to the next step, the key of success for this system are:

1. All the control must be done in PLC.
2. The PLC program need to be encrypted or password protected.

Ok, now the user is using the SCADA happily. Day after day, and it is invoice time. So a message will popup on the SCADA screen and said something like this:

Thank you for using the control system done by [company name]. We hope you are happy using it. Anyway, our engineers need to pay their car loan and take care their girl friend(s), so I hope you will pay us punctually in order to keep my engineer continue work for me. If you already make a payment, kindly key in the payment code in the box below. Thank you.

Payment Code : _______________________

PS, Don’t try to brute force the code, I will not responsible for typo that you make and please don’t ignore this also.

Ok, at this point there will be two possibilities; the client tries to guess the code or the client pay to get the code. If the client tries their luck, a warning message will warn the client if they guess it wrongly and after three tries, the fuckup sequence will be activated. If the client ignores the message, the fuckup sequence will be automatically activated after seven days from the end of "trial period".

Now, let say the client agreed to pay you the bad debt, so you will give them the code to let them continue using the control system happily. Another key of success is you must create few temporary deactivation codes and a total deactivation code. Say, the client agreed to pay you but only partial or a bounce check. In this case, don’t worry, let them enjoy another cycle of happiness and when the time come, the warning message will pop up again :). This time they client will beg you like dog. Only give the total deactivation code after you have receive all the payment.

Until this stage, I would like to share some fuckup sequences with you all.

1. Basic fuckup sequence
This is the most peaceful and basic fuckup level. Basically you just need to deactivate the whole control system. So the operator need to operate the plant at local mode, no PID tuning, no report, no trending, no alarm. Most of the people like to use this kind of fuckup sequence when they protest. The damage level: 0-30%.

2. Professional fuckup sequence
In this level of fuckup sequence, the control system will still keep on running, but sometime it work, sometime it don’t. When the operator calls the pump to run, it goes run the cooling tower, or when the operator calls for stop, the system just ignore the command, or run the chiller at night when no load is required and stop the chiller at noon and let those operators run up and down. The damage level: 40%-60%.

3. The ultimate fuckup sequence
I start to like the word ultimate, it feel so powerful when using this word ;). In this level, the control system will try to show who the boss is. When the operator calls to run the pump, the pump will run but the valve will off, and it will intermittently run and stop the pump and chiller. Then if the system got ice storage, try to run the ice storage pump to maximum speed in the morning and pump it into the heat exchanger and let the -5 deg. c solution freeze the water in the heat exchanger and let it burst. The damage level: 80%-100%.

So to all the owner and client, we, the control engineer, is very kind person. We work non stop 365x24x7 every day, we try our best to make you happy and we also hope to buy a new luxury car or new luxury house like you. Therefore please pay us the engineering fees which is actually exchanged with our knowledge and time. It is not very expensive compare to your cars or houses, so pay us and you can sleep in peace. Thank you.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Admit it when you are wrong!

Most of the time, we try to blame someone or something else if something when wrong. I heard before that a pump supplier blame the electrical turbine is actually causing the pump rotate faster than usual therefore the flow rate is higher and cause the pump is running in higher kW. But the truth is that he forgot (or maybe lazy or uncoordinated) to trim his pump.

I was once heard also that an inverter will cause the pump burn due to the voltage supplied from the inverter is lower that 3 phase voltage O_o. Maybe I should use a car battery to boom the pump.

Also a supplier told me that the meter that he supplied to me need to install a converter to filter the noise due to that my plant is filled with extra heavy noise. But none of my other instruments are affected by that so called noise. Maybe I should install the meter inside a 10" thick stainless steel panel and ground it.

Lot and lot of nonsense explanation from the so called specialist, expert, genius, professional, etc. Will it be more simple just say "I'm sorry that I had make a mistake, I will try to solve it." Everyone make mistake, some are big, some are small. If you can't solve the mistake that you make immediately, then apology, don't try to blame others. It make people irritating and shame on ourself. Chinese idiom said, face is given by others, but pride is lost due to ourself (hopefully you can understand my English :p)

A mistake is always a mistake, the only different is that don't try to cheat. You are not so genius that you can hide the truth. Me can :)