A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there,another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey please." The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fitted a collar and leash,handed to the customer,saying, "That'll be $5,000."
The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled,the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said,"That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred pounds. Why did it cost so much? "The shopkeeper answered, "Ah,that monkey can program in C - very fast,tight code,no bugs,well worth the money."
The tourist looked at a monkey in another cage. "Hey,that one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?"
"Oh,that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming,Visual C++, even some Java All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.
The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000.The tourist gasped to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?"
The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but it says it's a project manager".
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Monkeys
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HAHAHAHAHA...whose Project Manager is that? How much does it cost for a lorry driver monkey?
ReplyDeletebwahahahaa....
ReplyDeleteWho is the monkey which know program C? Genius hahahaha
ReplyDeleteit's totally true, look at our project managers!!
ReplyDeletehahahahahahaha
ReplyDeletejamie: i dont know how much is your salary. can you ask the lonely monkey in the room :)
ReplyDeletetitan: i think you make a mistake, i'm not the monkey that know c, i'm the monkey who know pascal.
frankie: are you sure you are not looking at the mirror XD
cutie: what the fuck you laugh, monkey!
genius baby: my salary is yours divide by 10...hence the name Lorry Driver...kkekekkeke
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to those who received mid year increment!
ReplyDeleteI guess all your your hardwork (and whinning for some) pays off
I always think that the management is only giving the increments to those creating problem and also those who is suffering from the problems caused by the those creating problems.
ReplyDeleteOther good and equally hardworking people are always excluded from any kind of special increment.
why should the management provide more to someone who is not problematic? He is not creating problem and not suffering from problem, well he is probably happy with his salary right
ReplyDeleteFUCK YOU
ReplyDeleteyeah lets see when the problem gets uncontrolled and explode in your face ok ?
ReplyDeleteah ya, is like that one lah, if you feel pain then you shout la, or else who the fuck know you are pain. dont know how to make noise then you continue suffer from the pain la, idiot.
ReplyDeleteso please learn how to shout and learn how to pretend to be pain at correct time, loser.
So sad....if this is the way then when only my salary reach satisfactory level?
ReplyDeleteMe not good in pretending how to be painful AND can endure a lot of pain.
I am a bloody idiot!
firstly, congrats to all those who got the mid year increment...can consider buying a lorry driver a few mugs of beer ar? kekekeke
ReplyDeleteto all those who didn't get the increment pls learn the art of balls carrying, balls fanning and serious cock sucking skills....that includes the lorry driver. Sad to say that the lorry driver was not born to take care of peoples balls and will NEVER learn the skills required....so, a few mugs of beer will suffice.
NOTE: I totally agree with sk
to all losers and idiots, cheers!
ReplyDeleteif 1 day i leave the company not because my salary is low but because i'm pissed off.
SK,
ReplyDeleteMeaning even you get good and satisfactory salary, you will also leave because others who contribute less getting more increment or salary?
Jamie,
ReplyDeleteI can slowly guide you on how to make my BALLS more comfy...hmmm mmmm
I AM BACK!
ReplyDeleteDING, DONT GO... I WILL MISS YOU SO MUCH!
HEHEHEHE...
FRANKIE = OUR BIG BOSS?
TAN = PETER TAN?
I BETTER KEEP SILENT HERE... DONT LET U GUYS KNOW MY ID. Hihihi
Jamie, very surprise you didn't get the increment ... maybe you carry and ter-squeeze the balls too hard until injured .... so sorry man.
ReplyDeletebwahahahaa.... good oone
ReplyDeleteboss: no need to guide me la..I am not the type to learn this skills..but thanks anyway.
ReplyDeleteanon: didn't get the increment because I think and know that I fuck the management too much in my blog...hahahhahahaaha...but I think a lot of us can survive without the moolah. Its just a matter of appreciation and principles...no worries mate. I would alos really like to tersqueeze their balls until burst..not injured..muahahaha
aiseh, firstly i congrats those who got their raise.
ReplyDeleteu all make noise when boss dun give mid year raise. Also make noise when everyone get same increment.
but now when boss give to those 'deserving' u all not satisfy also.
ha ha, now everyone think he is deserving.
I think I also used too much of their money travelling around this year....anyway, really enjoyed the travelling...wooohooooo...can make soooo much money, see soooo many places, cultures and hot chicks wooh....sk also enjoyed himself 99...so we are ok la ( at least I know I am ).
ReplyDeleteyk: what u say is true....there is no satisfying everyone all of the time la...
ReplyDeleteso the best thing is...forget about everything and let's go for a beer...woohooooo
Anon,
ReplyDeleteDon't think the management so silly la. Sure they give those who really deserved it and not trouble maker.
We got eyes one laaaaa...
Jamie,
Why not? You doing well so far and got potential to be even better. Sure learn from urut pingpong gals one from Hadyai...urut behind closed door.
Mother fucker ..... you can only get increment by moving ahead to become dynamic momentum in order to lead people through experience and quality like a success ladder and not escalator. BRAVO!!!
ReplyDeletehelloo boss!
ReplyDeletePlease using the polite words when giving the comments, don't say fuck here and there lah..come on! becuz so many people log on to this blog leh...
Anyhow it is still a fact for us. For me,I got no salary increments also for this year wat...That is something really funny things I would like to share with you guys. One day, I went to some dept. and saw a colleague sit at there so I go and chit chat with her. You know wat, one thing tat realised me about
1. Permanent Staffs = fully untilized, low salary, max. load, more works
2. Contract Staff = high pay & less works
Wat a surprise tat when I heard this! There is really something bad and sad. If that is the situation, why don't we resign and then join as a contract staff? aiyo...
Sometimes, really fed up with all this management.
Previously 1 assignment = 10++ people completed the jobs,
Now 1 assignment = 3++ people complete the jobs.
Wat a bloody management! It is absolutely torture and make the people who are really do the jobs suffering...
When some problems occurred, some people try to escape taking MC lah, on leave lah and etc...Really pease off with these kind of people!
SK, Jamie...I think I have the destiny like your guys also....always that sentence "wat to do? that is the fact wat.."
All baya..I was a bangla worker at your site, RM 40 per day. I write this at a cyber cafe in Potrajaya. Don't think all bangla is uneducated. I noticed that your company got this problem:
ReplyDelete1)Why Ex CM can sit there and do nothing, salary come on time, 5pm go back? No superior can sound up arh? I bangla also shame shame if i snake snake...
2)Why present CM is dunno everything and like to talk? He can wear normal shoe go plant, no need safety shoe...i bangla will be screwed by chinese safety if i wear normal shoe.
3)Why people can say dunno how to do the job and no need to do? i first time come here i dunno sapu the floor, i also learn mah.
4)Why draftman can get engineer pay? When can't find him at cabin, he said he is CAD engineer went to site, must go site; but when ask him to come out with drawing, he said he is a draftman only, dunno how to design. I want to ask him how to use OTOCAT lah, heard OTOCAT can do drawing one...
5)Why QC manager is poor in knowledge? Want to ask him flanges how to do tighthening lar!!!Hardly find him at site. Thought that he still admit at hospital.
6)Why the DamnPoohkeyMark is so eager to get the power, and screw people. He got the ASS disease ?(Attention Seeking Syndrome). I want to advised him be humble like us, bangla, who did the job at behind and never take credit.
7)Why the safety Indian always wear safety goggles? I saw he slept at his cabin during nightwork. I know when i do something danger must wear goggles, but not during walking at site also wear lah.
8)Why the short short malay like to disturb ppl at a horading area called "tank". I saw the progress is they just lay the steel plate then shooting the engineer say job delay. I help them to drain the water one. i know that one is piping from ECC delayed them one.
9) I heard the short short malay can get double pay threathening to resign. I Bangla can threathen to resign? so that i can double up my pay?
10)Why the blur blur malay supervisor called "DIN" always on leave har? I at site sweep floor want to ask him where to throw the rubbish also cannot find him. No choice i throw rubbish inside the heat exchanger to confine the dust not flying outside.
11)Why Hong Kong can get good appraisal?Eerrie lah!!!
12)Why the people got experience can get more and more task task to do? Got incentive for every task argh? I bangla want also. RM 1 floor sweep per meter sqaure!!!
13)Why charge man can get RM 7000 for the cert har? in malaysia charge man get 700 only. This company been slaughtered lah. I think the boss is a good man lah.
14) The short short malay is work for your KJ or GDC??? i dunno lah, i bangla know that if i take KJ money, i work for KJ.
15) Heard that got mid year increment? Not many have? I bangla got or not??
16) I saw many people taking bag go back at 5pm. Got one malay man in QC cabin i dunno what he doing lah? Can bangla go back har?
I work in so many places, i feel that this company is very funny. I will go back BANGLADESH and tell my comrade to come KJ work as contract staff and got charge man cert is better.
I go KLIA now.
aloo boss: fuuuyooh...pingpong urut style also u know ar? I must pay attention and learn from them next time..thank you.
ReplyDeletebangla: hahahahaha..i like yr style bro..nice statements and thanks for mentioning the Attention Seeking Syndrome thingy....HAHAHAHAHAHA. Yes, pls call all yr comrades to come and work...very good ya!
this post damn cuuuun la...nice to be able to let off some steam..thanks sk aka genius aka superman aka my sifu
alo bangla, you ada ink le, can help me do document ah? i want to resign also la, maybe you bisa take my job le. very senang one, i talak tipu one. trust me la, please, i mahu chao liao, pergi bangla see see ada susah punya job tak.
ReplyDeletesilencer, no choice la, i dont know how to play the ball, do know how to threaten people. the only think i know how to do is say yes and no problem. i'm sick but i still working, not to show people i'm good or want increment, but since company pay me then i will serve it with all my ability. appreciate or not appreciate is up to the boss. but always remember we all got the right to choice our boss.
cyk, i dont know what is your feeling when you know you are not in the increment list. i was thinking company based on what criteria to choose the lucky guy/gal? anyway, since you are not, then i think i'm not deserve it.
jamie, i feel i can fly XD dont put me too high, i afraid of highness.
anyway, once again for all that contribute their effort, cheer for yourself.
if the purpose of working is purely money, then it's time to leave.