Friday, July 06, 2007

How to success in working

Basically I'm a failure in my career :(

But what reason that allow me to write this blog? And what make you read a loser writing how to success? I myself also can't explain it. You may stop here if you think I'm wasting your time, but if you like to know some nerve inside a loser, you are welcome.

In every project or working environment, there are drivers and passengers. The driver can be defined as a worker/executor that pushing the project/task to move to it destination. Driver can be a leader, an engineer or event a general worker. On the other hand, a passenger is someone that sitting in a mobile, fetch by the driver to the destination. They can be analogy as parasite. In the mind of passenger, there are no teamwork needed, what they are looking for is victim, a stupid victim.

The mind of a driver is simple, what they try to do is try as hard as they can to move the task/project forward, fighting in the front line with no fear. But most of the time, the simple mind of these idiots forgot about the parasite at the back may overtake the credit when they are tired.

Therefore to success in your working environment, you must train yourself as a good passenger. What you must do is, sit relaxing in the car and let the driver fetch you to the destination and overtake the control at the correct timing and earn the credit.
Somehow, there are some rules that applied here. First, you must not try on a too high target, most of the time, you will fail. Second, remember, no friend in this world except enemy and victim.

Email is the most powerful tool invented by a stupid driver and abused by passenger. What make email so advantage over classical mail, memo, notice or fax? First it is black and white, that mean the evident is solid. Second, the speed of delivery is at the speed of light to everyone. And third, it let you choose who need to be attention and whom no.

When you are at trouble, find a weakest victim and put his/her name on the email and sent to everyone, CC to the management and you have successfully kill a victim.

When there is some credit to earn, you must fast enough sent an email to everyone and CC to the management about your 'great' contribution that make the task/project complete successfully. You are now earn all the credit and let all the stupid drivers eat shit.

In order to write a good email, you must learn how to use some stupid English terms like flying colour, momentum, teamwork, ladder, escalator (sorry to say that I neither know what these words mean and nor why there are here), etc. These terms give your email a management look. Management like these English term that make them feel more high class.

The second skill that you must employ is talk. You must learn to use correct term at correct location and time. For example, the management want you to come out a proposal, you may say, "I will try my best to come out the proposal, although I have two others document that urgently needed. I will try to ask Dinstein to help me on this." First, never say NO to the management. Second, must let the management know you are BUSY. The term 'try my best' mean you may get the result or you may no, if you get it is because of me; if you don't get because someone else cause me can't deliver it to you and you can't blame me, but somehow you can blame someone, in this case Dinstein. Third, always prepare a victim in the task so you can push your shit to him/she.

Ok, I hope these lesson can give you some hints or guidance to success in your working environment. And for all the driver, thank you for your hard work; for all the passenger, be careful you may be my next victim, wha hahahaha...........