Monkeys

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there,another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey please." The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fitted a collar and leash,handed to the customer,saying, "That'll be $5,000."

The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled,the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said,"That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred pounds. Why did it cost so much? "The shopkeeper answered, "Ah,that monkey can program in C - very fast,tight code,no bugs,well worth the money."

The tourist looked at a monkey in another cage. "Hey,that one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?"

"Oh,that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming,Visual C++, even some Java All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.

The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000.The tourist gasped to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?"

The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but it says it's a project manager".

No title

I'm feel helpless

For all working people

A butcher watching over his shop is really surprised when he sees a dog coming inside the shop. He shoos him away. But later, the dog is back again. So, he goes over to the dog and notices it has a note in its mouth. He takes the note and it reads, "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please". The dog has money in its mouth, as well.

The butcher looks inside and, lo and behold, there is a ten-dollar note there. So he takes the money and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog's mouth. The butcher is so impressed, and since it's about closing time, he decides to shut the shop and follow the dog. So off he goes.

The dog is walking down the street, when it comes to a level crossing; the dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the button. Then it waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn. They do, and it walks across the road, with the butcher following him all the way. The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe as the dog stops a bus by pulling its left leg up and gets in it.

The butcher follows the dog into the bus. The dog then shows a ticket, which is tied to its belt to the bus conductor. The butcher is nearly fainting at this sight, so are the other passengers in the bus. The dog then sits near the driver's seat looking outside waiting for the bus stop to come. As soon as the stop is in sight, the dog stands and wags its tail to inform the conductor. Then, without waiting for the bus to stop completely, it jumps out of the bus and runs to a house very close to the stop.

It opens the big iron gate and rushes inside towards the door. As it approaches the wooden door, the dog suddenly changes its mind and heads towards the garden. It goes to the window, and beats its head against it several times, walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door. The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts abusing the dog, kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him.

The butcher surprised with this, runs up, and stops the guy. "What in heaven's name are you doing? The dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for the life of me!" to which the guy responds: "You call this clever? This is the second time this week that this stupid dog's forgotten his key.

Haha, I like this joke, make me want to cry after reading it.

Time management

Try this simple puzzle, see how good is your time management.

|[A 2 minute]              |
|[B 4 minute]              |
|[C 8 minute]              |
|[D 16 minute]             |

There are four boats on the left bank of a river. To cross the river to the right bank, Boat A takes 2 minutes; Boat B takes 4 minutes; Boat C takes 8 minutes and Boat D takes 16 minutes.

All boats need to go to the right bank but there are only one boatman. One boat can pull another boat but it will take the same amount of time as the slower of the two boats to cross the river.

If the boatman uses one boat to pull another boat to the right bank and returns to the left bank in one boat, how many minutes will it take for him to move all the boats to the right bank?

Try this puzzle and find out how good is your IQ and also maybe your time management.

Most of the time we are rushing for the deadline. If you manage to plan your schedule we can somehow shortcut lots of unnecessary wastage. Everyone can reach to the destination at same time and we can cheer for all the handwork that we had contributed to the project.

A project without coordination is a war field, everyone is your enemy. You need to act fast or else you will lose your territory and by then you are dead meat.

So you can choose either to work together or play the war game in your project. Good luck.

My SEG T_T

Today went to Time Square planning to watch the Transformer. I don't know why everyone are going for that movie and no more ticket until 9.30PM. Shit, I hope this movie is lousy :)

So I went back to have lunch with my family. And at the stupid jam road near the Jalan Pekeliling, a stupid Wira suddenly stop in front of me and as usual my SEG can handle this small method. But when I look at the back mirror, a lorry is driving like want to going to hell fly toward me. Shit, I know it going to hit me. And bang! This is what happen to the best car ever make :(




Luckily no one hurt, and I'm still in one piece with the handsome face XD.

No car use for a week, have to borrow car from my lovely girl friend.

Hope to see my SEG next week with perfect look.

How to success in working

Basically I'm a failure in my career :(

But what reason that allow me to write this blog? And what make you read a loser writing how to success? I myself also can't explain it. You may stop here if you think I'm wasting your time, but if you like to know some nerve inside a loser, you are welcome.

In every project or working environment, there are drivers and passengers. The driver can be defined as a worker/executor that pushing the project/task to move to it destination. Driver can be a leader, an engineer or event a general worker. On the other hand, a passenger is someone that sitting in a mobile, fetch by the driver to the destination. They can be analogy as parasite. In the mind of passenger, there are no teamwork needed, what they are looking for is victim, a stupid victim.

The mind of a driver is simple, what they try to do is try as hard as they can to move the task/project forward, fighting in the front line with no fear. But most of the time, the simple mind of these idiots forgot about the parasite at the back may overtake the credit when they are tired.

Therefore to success in your working environment, you must train yourself as a good passenger. What you must do is, sit relaxing in the car and let the driver fetch you to the destination and overtake the control at the correct timing and earn the credit.
Somehow, there are some rules that applied here. First, you must not try on a too high target, most of the time, you will fail. Second, remember, no friend in this world except enemy and victim.

Email is the most powerful tool invented by a stupid driver and abused by passenger. What make email so advantage over classical mail, memo, notice or fax? First it is black and white, that mean the evident is solid. Second, the speed of delivery is at the speed of light to everyone. And third, it let you choose who need to be attention and whom no.

When you are at trouble, find a weakest victim and put his/her name on the email and sent to everyone, CC to the management and you have successfully kill a victim.

When there is some credit to earn, you must fast enough sent an email to everyone and CC to the management about your 'great' contribution that make the task/project complete successfully. You are now earn all the credit and let all the stupid drivers eat shit.

In order to write a good email, you must learn how to use some stupid English terms like flying colour, momentum, teamwork, ladder, escalator (sorry to say that I neither know what these words mean and nor why there are here), etc. These terms give your email a management look. Management like these English term that make them feel more high class.

The second skill that you must employ is talk. You must learn to use correct term at correct location and time. For example, the management want you to come out a proposal, you may say, "I will try my best to come out the proposal, although I have two others document that urgently needed. I will try to ask Dinstein to help me on this." First, never say NO to the management. Second, must let the management know you are BUSY. The term 'try my best' mean you may get the result or you may no, if you get it is because of me; if you don't get because someone else cause me can't deliver it to you and you can't blame me, but somehow you can blame someone, in this case Dinstein. Third, always prepare a victim in the task so you can push your shit to him/she.

Ok, I hope these lesson can give you some hints or guidance to success in your working environment. And for all the driver, thank you for your hard work; for all the passenger, be careful you may be my next victim, wha hahahaha...........

Superman returns!

Almost 1/2 year I'm being chain by the Kryptonite chain to sit in the office to write story book, and finally I can put on my red underwear and fly.

Wah ha ha ha ha.............. I'm unstoppable!

Aoi Miyazaki

Married. I'm just too late to go Japan. Why the groom isn't me T_T