Tuesday, July 04, 2006

You might be an engineer if you fulfill any 5 of the criteria:

  • You have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.
  • You enjoy pain.
  • You know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.
  • You chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."
  • You've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.
  • When you look in a mirror, you see an engineering major.
  • It is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.
  • You frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver."
  • You always do homework on Friday nights.
  • You know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.
  • You think in "math."
  • You've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
  • You hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down its wave function.
  • You have a pet named after a scientist.
  • You laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
  • The Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the Schroedinger's Cat experiment.
  • You can translate English into Binary.
  • You can't remember what's behind the door in the science building which says "Exit."
  • You have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.
  • You are completely addicted to caffeine.
  • You avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.
  • You consider ANY non-science course "easy."
  • When your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.
  • The "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
  • You'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.
  • You understood more than five of these indicators.
  • You make a hard copy of this list, and post it on your door.
  • You think it might be a neat idea to send this message to all of your friends in the form of e-mail.
  • Choosing to buy flowers for your girlfriend or upgrading your RAM is a moral dilemma.
  • You take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room.
  • In college you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure.
  • The sales people at the local computer store can't answer any of your questions.
  • At an air show you know how fast the skydivers are falling.
  • You bought your wife a new CD-ROM drive for her birthday.
  • You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
  • You can type 70 words per minute but can't read your own handwriting.
  • You comment to your spouse that his/her straight hair is nice and parallel.
  • You sit backwards on the Disneyland rides to see how they do the special effects.
  • You have saved every power cord from all your broken appliances.
  • You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
  • You know what "http://" stands for.
  • You look forward to Christmas so you can put the kids' toys together.
  • You see a good design and still have to change it.
  • You spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring.
  • You still own a slide rule and know how to use it.
  • You think that people yawning around you are sleep deprived.
  • You window shop at Radio Shack.
  • Your laptop computer costs more than your car.
  • Your spouse hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work.
  • You've already calculated how much you make per second.
  • You've tried to repair a $5 radio.