Top Ten Things Engineering School didn't Teach You

1. There are at least 10 types of capacitors.
   
2. Theory tells you how a circuit works, not why it does not work.
   
3. Not everything works according to the specs in the databook.
   
4. Anything practical you learn will be obsolete before you use it, except the complex math, which you will never use.
   
5. Engineering is like having an 8 a.m. class and a late afternoon lab every day for the rest of your life.
   
6. Overtime pay? What overtime pay?
   
7. Manager, not engineers, rule the world.
   
8. Always try to fix the hardware with software.
   
9. If you like junk food, caffeine and all-nighters, go into software.
   
10. Dilbert is not a comic strip, it's a documentary.

CipherMail 0.2 Beta

New features added:

• Add password verification for message encryption.
• Add CipherMail extention for file cryptography and MD5 digest into shell.

View readme for more details.

Just extract the zip file to a folder and run CipherMail.

http://skding.googlepages.com/ciphermail.zip

Nothing business, just a birthday.















Happy birthday to Mr. Ooi (22/7).

Communication

Communication is difficult. Most of the communication related books told you that the main objective of communication is the clear transfer of information.

But Dilbert say

The real objective of business communication is to advance your career.

A successful manager knows how to conveys the message "I am worthy of promotion" without transferring any other information.

And

Clear communication can only get you into trouble.

Telling truth in bussiness world is prohibited, if you want to be promoted or make your life easy.

As for engineers, we don't tell lies as managers usually do. For us the best way is to keep silent, since say nothing doesn't mean lie, hence we don't go to hell at the end of the day :)

Maybe due to this reason engineers wouldn't be promoted at the end of the day cause we didn't pass the most important message to our boss.

How communication works in the business world? Read this.

Tribute to the company with managers > engineers

The French and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day the Japanese won by a mile.

The France team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action.

The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the France team had one person rowing and eight people steering. After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the French team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers, and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive.

The next year, the Japanese won by two miles!

Humiliated, the France corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem.

Manager problem solving method

We know how engineer deal with problem, but how about manager? Read this.

A new manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing. On the last day the departing manager tells him, "I have left three numbered envelopes in the desk drawer. Open an envelope if you encounter a crisis you can't solve."

Three months down the track there is a major drama, everything goes wrong - the usual stuff - and the manager feels very threatened by it all. He remembers the parting words of his predecessor and opens the first envelope. The message inside says "Blame your predecessor!" He does this and gets off the hook.

About half a year later, the company is experiencing a dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. The manager quickly opens the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize!" This he does, and the company quickly rebounds.

Three months later, at his next crisis, he opens the third envelope. The message inside says "Prepare three envelopes".

The engineers and the bulb

How many first year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That's a second year subject.

How many second year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but the rest of the class copies the report.

How many third year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb?
"Will this question be in the final examination?"

How many civil engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to do it and one to steady the chandelier.

How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They simply redefine darkness as the industry standard.

How many computer engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
"Why bother? The socket will be obsolete in six months anyway."

How many mechanical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, one to calculate the force required, one to design a tool with which to turn the bulb, one to design a comfortable - but functional - hand grip, and one to use all this equipment.

How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.

and the mangers:

How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
"I want a detailed memo about this issue till tomorrow's morning."
"You were supposed to have changed that light bulb last week!"
"We haven't got a policy on that".
"I am on my way to a very important meeting, so we'll discuss it some other time."
Three. Two to find out if it needs changing, and one to tell an employee to change it.

CipherMail 0.1.1

Just update the software.

Introduce shortcut key.
Encrypt Ctrl-E
Decrypt Ctrl-D

Save some copy and paste time :)

CipherMail ver.0.1.1

======Added=========
Sorry for the stupid link, meanwhile looking for a better place to put my file, you can try this link.

http://rapidshare.de/files/25650620/ciphermail0.1.1.zip.html

Ciphermail

If you need email encryption but PGP is too heavy for you, that the idea of Ciphermail.

This is a simple software by me. Free to use and distribute. Report the bug to me, I will be appreciate it.

Ciphermail ver.0.1

Just copy the text below (including the header and footer) and decrypt it (the password is: password). You will get a welcome message.

-----BEGIN CIPHERMAIL MESSAGE-----
Cipher: Blowfish
Version: 0.1

4UmQvwWNsM2sS+TPl+Jzo079XxPXddz3

-----END CIPHERMAIL MESSAGE-----

The monkey and the policy

This story tell you about the company policy. Enjoy your day.

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.

After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.

Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.
After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here.

And that, my friends, is how a company policy begins.

Proving Dilbert's Principle

I'm Dilbert's fan just like most of the engineer/technical guy out there. We done most of the task just to make our management happy.

The Dilbert Principle said that:

The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.

Since I'm an engineer, we would like to know how true is this statement.

Profession	Tasks/Contribution	Risks/Dangerous
Scientist	Create atomic bomb	Extreme high
Chemical eng.	Build reactor	Very high, scientist best partner.
Mechanical eng.	Build weapon	High
Civil eng.	Build target	High, team with mech. eng.
Electrical eng.	Build power supply	High, the black hand behind everything
Policeman	Rescue / kill human	High
Lawyer	Kill / rescue human	Low
Doctor	Rescue / kill human	Low, form the three musketeer with policeman and lawyer.
Management	Create policies	None

As showed by the table, we know that the management main contribution to the world is create policies which need not proves, reasons, or logics. They mainly base on statistic, where statistic itself is a big lier.

Policies basically wouldn't hameful to human life, but create lots of unexplainable actions which are not logic.

By then, we proved Dilbert Principle.

You might be an engineer if you fulfill any 5 of the criteria:

• You have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.
• You enjoy pain.
• You know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.
• You chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."
• You've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.
• When you look in a mirror, you see an engineering major.
• It is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.
• You frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver."
• You always do homework on Friday nights.
• You know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.
• You think in "math."
• You've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
• You hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down its wave function.
• You have a pet named after a scientist.
• You laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
• The Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the Schroedinger's Cat experiment.
• You can translate English into Binary.
• You can't remember what's behind the door in the science building which says "Exit."
• You have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.
• You are completely addicted to caffeine.
• You avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.
• You consider ANY non-science course "easy."
• When your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.
• The "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
• You'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.
• You understood more than five of these indicators.
• You make a hard copy of this list, and post it on your door.
• You think it might be a neat idea to send this message to all of your friends in the form of e-mail.
• Choosing to buy flowers for your girlfriend or upgrading your RAM is a moral dilemma.
• You take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room.
• In college you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure.
• The sales people at the local computer store can't answer any of your questions.
• At an air show you know how fast the skydivers are falling.
• You bought your wife a new CD-ROM drive for her birthday.
• You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
• You can type 70 words per minute but can't read your own handwriting.
• You comment to your spouse that his/her straight hair is nice and parallel.
• You sit backwards on the Disneyland rides to see how they do the special effects.
• You have saved every power cord from all your broken appliances.
• You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
• You know what "http://" stands for.
• You look forward to Christmas so you can put the kids' toys together.
• You see a good design and still have to change it.
• You spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring.
• You still own a slide rule and know how to use it.
• You think that people yawning around you are sleep deprived.
• You window shop at Radio Shack.
• Your laptop computer costs more than your car.
• Your spouse hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work.
• You've already calculated how much you make per second.
• You've tried to repair a $5 radio.